im Cathartic Lodge - Agony Column

Aunty Swindon and The Uncle . . .

. . . causing you agony.

This is the new Clodge agony aunt / uncle and counselling service. If you need to be caused agony please fill in the form below.

Well I CBB to make the form yet, so instead send your agony message by e-mail. Include in the message a name and e-mail address, if and as you want them to appear with your question on this page! Send your message to Hmmsnip.

Yay! We've received a letter of agony!

Dear Agony Uncleaunt,
I recieved my first copy of the Clodge album today, and listening to it caused my brain to liquify and pour out of my ears. This was worrying in itself, until the music started going backwards, causing the brain matter to flow back in and reform.
So my question is, is Clodging entirely good for one's health?
And what's with all the snipping?
From a distressed yet oddly satisfied fan.

Dear distressed yet oddly satisfied (?) fan...

It is good to see that you've actually been listening to a Clodge CD. The cranial contortion that you have described is commonly known as the "I'm melting" (to be said in a squeaky voice) effect. There's nothing you can do about it. Keep listening to Clodge. You'll become immune eventually.

Enjoy the agony: we hope it isn't too painful. Clodge is entirely safe (unless you're a hobbit or Steve or Nick) as long as you handle it with care. Look out for the flying blades when your CD player disintegrates. Whatever that means...